


within, we find light

by tigerlo



Series: i'll hold for now (but we'll meet before the end) [2]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/F, Fluff, Introspection, Love, Nicole's POV, Smut, canon adjacent?, canon fill in scenes, finally...., so much love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 18:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12174114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/pseuds/tigerlo
Summary: Nicole begins the second part of her life with Waverly by her side, changed.an introspective character piece from Nicole's point of view.orNicole's progression across season two through her interactions with Waverly.(part two of a two part character study)





	within, we find light

**Author's Note:**

> Here's part two, team.
> 
> I just wanted to say a huge thank you for the amazing response and all your lovely comments to part one, they've been a little heartwarming if I'm honest and I hope you know how much they all mean to me. I can't wait to hear what you all think of this second part. 
> 
> This is a little angstier and a little smuttier given the content of season two but I think it's still a little bit lovely? Also I never freaking know when an M should become an E but it's quite a good little sex scene at the end so I thought better safe than sorry?
> 
> I won't keep you waiting though, take a deep breath and enjoy!
> 
> x

-

  
  


beginning. 

**part two.**

  
  


-

  
  


Waverly tastes different. 

 

Nicole doesn't know why, or what it means but Waverly  _ tastes _ different. 

 

She puts it out of her mind though because she asks Waverly and Waverly says she's fine, and the bruise on her ribs is still fresh so she dampens her instincts and concentrates on Waverly's hands on her stomach instead. 

 

But Waverly tastes different, and she can’t stop worrying. 

 

Whatever it is though, it can't be that big of a deal. 

 

Can it?

  
  


-

  
  


Transcendence. 

 

That's the first word that comes to mind after they make love for the first time. 

 

They kiss and kiss and kiss and then they  _ fly _ . 

 

Waverly's been different, tastes different. Is sharper and a little meaner and Nicole wants to think it's grief, that it's Willa, because she lost a sister for the second time and that kind of thing leaves a scar on your soul. 

 

She doesn't taste different every time though, only sometimes. Sometimes she tastes like peppermint and light and something vaguely sweet, like normal, like  _ her _ Waverly. 

 

But sometimes she doesn't. 

 

Waverly shows her the book, on Willa’s bed, and for the first time Nicole feels a trickle of fear as Waverly reads Willa’s writing because she's been so  _ so _ sure of Waverly's parentage, unfailingly so, but what if.

 

What if…

 

It can't possibly be true though. Waverly can't possibly be anything  _ but _ an Earp, so Nicole lets the thought settle, sets it to the back of her mind and focuses on the warm body at her side. 

 

Things have been strained between them the last few days, stretched a little thin because they're still freezing Nicole out of what's really happening but none of that matters in the face of the potential shit storm that this could unleash so she kisses Waverly, soft and soothing, and she comes away with the taste of  _ her _ on her tongue.

 

Their small reunion is cut short by whirlwind Wynonna but it doesn't matter because Nicole has a job to do now, to support Waverly in this regardless, so she leaves and comes back with an envelope that feels like a time bomb. 

 

She lays her loyalty at Waverly's feet and her heart too, and when they kiss and kiss and kiss they don't stop. 

 

Not this time. 

  
  


-

  
  


Waverly is like wildfire, hot and all consuming and she burns and burns and  **burns** . 

 

She falls apart around Nicole's fingers unlike any lover before her and Nicole knows instantly what she had suspected from the first time she had met Waverly, that she never wants to take another into her bed, ever again. 

 

Because there is no way that anything will ever come close to being with Waverly. Not jumping out of a plane or diving off a cliff, nothing. 

 

Nothing in the world will emulate the way her heart stops when she pushes  _ in _ for the first time, when she feels Waverly pull around her fingers. 

 

When Nicole tastes her. 

 

When Waverly falls apart. 

 

Nothing. 

  
  


-

  
  


Nicole thought she'd seen the most beautiful thing in the world when she walked into Shorty’s and saw Waverly with a beer soaked singlet clinging to her skin, but she's wrong. 

 

The most beautiful thing in the world is the way Waverly's back arches when she comes and the sound that falls from her lips. 

 

The way she moans  _ Nicole.  _

 

And the second most beautiful thing is the look on her face when she  _ feels  _ Nicole for the first time. 

 

Her eyes go wide and she gasps almost as hard as Nicole does before she licks her lips and moves lower,  _ deeper _ , and Nicole comes apart too. 

  
  


-

  
  


Nicole kisses Waverly after over and over, lazily, sleepily before they crash, and she tastes like mint. 

 

She kisses her when they wake, and the taste is sharper. Heavier. 

 

_ Off _ . 

  
  


-

  
  


“What colour do you think our sheets will be?” Waverly asks as she lifts and lays the top sheet over Nicole's bed as Nicole walks around the side, evening it over the mattress. 

 

“What?” Nicole asks surprised, looking up to Waverly.

 

Her voice is soft and her eyes are too and when Nicole had kissed her an hour ago she’d tasted like  _ her _ so Nicole relaxes.  

 

“When we live together,” Waverly says easily. “What colour do you think our sheets will be?”

 

She looks up at Nicole then, blanching a little as she realises what she's said, and what it means. 

 

“I mean, I didn't assume….I don't….” 

 

She looks at her hands a little guiltily before she looks up to Nicole. 

 

“I put my foot in it didn't I?” 

 

Nicole still hasn't said anything though, frozen in place at Waverly's words because she's  _ thought _ about it. She's thought about them and a house and a future. 

 

“Nicole?” Waverly asks, sounding a little more nervous. “I'm sorry if I….”

 

“You've thought about that?” Nicole says finally when her wits come back to her. “You've thought about us living together?”

 

She can't stop her face splitting into a smile as she looks up to Waverly and the smaller woman breathes a visible sigh of relief that lifts her shoulders when she realises she hasn't said something out of place or unwanted. 

 

“Maybe?” Waverly says a little shyly as she looks down at the bed, folding the end of the top sheet over before tucking in the sides and looking back up to Nicole. “Is that ok?”

 

“More than,” Nicole says as she glows, smoothing down a few invisible wrinkles in the sheet as she moves around the bed towards Waverly, catching the way Waverly's body turns in anticipation of her own. “What else have you thought about?”

 

They're close now but not touching, not yet, and they both drop their hands to run along the fresh linen, dancing close but just out of reach. 

 

“A few things,” Waverly says coyly as she gives in first, tangling her fingers in Nicole's atop the bed. 

 

“Like what?” Nicole asks, licking her lips as her eyes fix on Waverly's. 

 

“Like moving in together, here, away from the homestead. Like sneaking into the shower with you when you get home from an extra long shift and working those knots out of your shoulders under the warm water,” Waverly says a little dreamily. “Like waking up together on Sunday morning and kissing you until you roll me over and….”

 

“And what?” Nicole asks a little breathily, her pulse warm in her wrists. 

 

Waverly smiles, the low and dangerous smile that Nicole's beginning to know so well now as she takes a step closer and wraps her hand in the front of Nicole's shirt bringing them flush together. The one that says I want you. I  _ need _ you. 

 

“I don't know, Officer Haught,” Waverly purrs. “Perhaps you should use your imagination and tell me.”

 

Waverly's words settle against her core like a low heat, not one that burns but one that smoulders. 

 

She loves Waverly like this, when she curves her body for Nicole so obviously. When she  _ wants _ her. 

 

She bends down and collects Waverly easily and her thighs move around Nicole so automatically because they know this dance so well now. The steps come as easy as breathing. 

 

“Tell you?” Nicole asks against her lips as her hands slide around Waverly's ass and pull her closer. “How about I show you.”

 

Waverly smiles wide as she bites her lip and Nicole has to fight the urge to take it between her own teeth. 

 

“The bed,” Waverly says in terribly weak protest as Nicole lowers her to the mattress, settling heavy between her thighs as her hands and mouth move to Waverly's chest. 

 

“It can wait,” Nicole says as she tugs at Waverly's shirt, baring the skin. “I can't.”

 

“Me either,” Waverly says as her hands pull desperately at her own clothes. “Hurry, baby. Please.”

  
  


-

  
  


Nicole knows something is off at the high school before she tastes the tang of Waverly on her tongue, because the light in her eyes is wrong. 

 

It's darker. Not Waverly. 

 

Well, not  _ her _ Waverly anyway. 

 

She knows there could be something decidedly more malicious to explain why Waverly's lips feel harsh beneath hers and not soft, but the sweet poisonous part of her brain tells her it's not that complicated. 

 

It's because Waverly kissed her in public and Nicole had pulled back. 

 

And it's not the public thing because she's been out for a long,  _ long _ time. It's the uniform thing. And she could have understood Waverly's hesitation over that because Nicole's kissed her in uniform before but they'd been on her turf then, in the station or at the bar, and Nicole had been in control of who had seen. 

 

But it's different out here in the wild because she wants to be sheriff one day and these people need to trust her but they need to respect her too, and while she knows the entire town is aware beyond any fraction of doubt that she is dating Waverly Earp, part of that is retaining a certain level of privacy too. Because it's hard enough being a woman who's a cop in a small town but it's harder to be a gay one, harder still to be those things and a sheriff to boot. 

 

Nicole needs authority, she needs respect, and she needs to quash the dirty stray thoughts of little shits like Tucker the pervert. And she'll kiss Waverly until the sun drops in the sky when she's in her civvies, or when they're safety nestled in her office, but not out here. 

 

And she wishes so badly it was different, that it didn't matter. But Purgatory has its own damn rules and she really doesn't have a choice if she wants to do well here. For herself, but for Waverly too. 

 

Because she wants to be the kind of person Waverly is proud to be with, the kind that makes her chest swell when she tells them what her girlfriend does and she just hopes that's what Waverly wants for them both too. 

 

But she knows that might not be enough. That sweet voice sings her those taunts in the middle of the night when Waverly is fast asleep beside her. 

 

She's never had to hide her affections in public before, it hisses. What if it's not enough. What if  _ you're _ not enough. What if you're more trouble than you're worth. 

 

The problem is though that Waverly hadn't seemed upset or confused, she'd seemed impatient, and Nicole doesn't know what that means. She wants to talk to Waverly about it, to sit down and get to the bottom of it but something tells her this Waverly won't want that, that this Waverly might sneer. 

 

She resolves to wait then, until her Waverly comes back, mint and sunshine and sets to  _ watching _ instead. 

  
  


-

  
  


“Do you want to carry her in or should I?” 

 

Wynonna's voice is soft as she looks over to the back seat of Nicole's squad car, at Waverly out cold on the back seat. 

 

They’d moved to take her to the hospital, to be checked over until Waverly had pleaded to let it wait until morning before promptly falling asleep. 

 

“I'll take her,” Nicole says quietly, looking to Wynonna with a look of heavy thanks. One that says thank you for not blocking me out. Thank you for not sending me away. 

 

Because Wynonna had taken Waverly from Nicole's arms on the floor of the barn and she'd been worried that she was about to be shut out again, but Wynonna had walked her to Nicole's car before she'd thrown her head towards the door with a quick  _ she might look light but she still weighs something, hurry it up Haught.  _

 

Wynonna had slid into the passenger seat of the squad car before turning to Nicole with a frown on her face. 

 

“I know you want to be with her but I need her at home, safe, alright? And I know you're more than capable of protecting her but….”

 

Wynonna had broken off, throwing Waverly another look in the back, her eyes already fluttering closed, as though she wanted to make sure Waverly was still there. 

 

“You can come too, but I just want….” Wynonna had said before Nicole had interrupted her gently. 

 

“It's ok, Wynonna,” Nicole had said with a sad smile. “I understand.”

 

Wynonna's right, she looks light but there's a reassuring weight to Waverly as Nicole bends down into the backseat, wrapping Waverly's sleep heavy arms around her neck before she slides her hands beneath Waverly's thighs and lifts her gently. 

 

It's a perfect fit, Waverly in her arms, and Nicole breathes a little deeper as she walks up to the steps of the homestead, dropping her head to take in the scent of Waverly's hair, warm and earthy from the barn but light too. 

 

_ Her _ , finally. 

 

Only her. 

 

Nicole is hit then with an almost overwhelming blow of guilt and a rush of nausea when she realises what this all means, Waverly's possession, that the horrible sick feeling she's had in her gut for a week was right. That there was something  _ in _ Waverly and she didn't do anything about it. 

 

“Hurry up, Haught,” Wynonna whispers sharply from the porch. “I'm freezing my balls off out here.”

 

“Sorry,” Nicole says a little absent-mindedly, readjusting her grip on Waverly gently. “Coming.”

 

She can't do this now though, Nicole thinks as her stomach rolls again. She'll punish herself and apologise to Waverly until she's hoarse later but for now she needs to focus on the soft weight in her arms and be thankful above all else that Waverly is safe and whole and  _ her _ again. 

 

She walks Waverly inside, smiling to herself as they cross the threshold and a distant hope blooms in her chest that maybe some day she'll get to do this in a white dress with Waverly resplendent in cream and lace too. 

 

The thought quiets when Wynonna turns to Nicole, gesturing up the stairs. 

 

“You know the way,” Wynonna says with a frown, and Nicole's about to ask her what her problem is aside from the obvious when Wynonna beats her to it. 

 

“Nicole, wait….” Wynonna says even though Nicole hasn't actually moved, Wynonna's use of her first name making her blood still. 

 

She looks pained,  _ in _ pain and Nicole knows at once what she's thinking. She feels guilty too. 

 

“I'm sorry I didn't listen to you earlier,” Wynonna says as she looks at her feet. “When you said you thought she was different, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I know how closely you and your love-drunk eyes look at her, I should have known something was up if you'd noticed.”

 

“Wynonna, I….” Nicole starts before the other woman cuts her off. 

 

“Thank you,” Wynonna says as she looks to Nicole finally. “I mean I'm not jazzed about the fact that you were  _ that _ eager to shoot me, but no one's ever been that fierce for her before. No one's ever had her back. Apart from me I mean but I haven't exactly been a stellar example of the protection she deserves.”

 

The sick feeling’s still there but it's eclipsed for a moment because she's always felt like an annoyance around Wynonna, that the other woman  _ really _ didn't want her there, and that might still be true but she's seen Nicole's devotion,  **recognised** it, and it makes Nicole feel a little bit warmer. 

 

“I'm not going to pretend the whole gay thing wasn't a surprise,” Wynonna says with wide eyes, not quite finished. “And don't think this doesn't mean I'll kick your ass to next Sunday if you ever do anything to hurt her but, she could do a hell of a lot worse than you, Haught. You're alright.”

 

“Thank you Wynonna,” Nicole says, her eyes softening as her hesitant grin melts into them, and she'll never admit it out loud but Wynonna's approval means  _ everything _ . “You're alright too, you know that right?”

 

“Of course I am,” Wynonna says with a scoff but Nicole catches the split second where Nicole's words settle against her heart, and Nicole knows she took in more than she's letting on. 

 

Because Waverly's had it hard but Wynonna has too. Patricide is something that follows her in whispers constantly and Nicole's never thought that was fair, not one bit. 

 

“Get her up to bed, huh?” Wynonna says as her eyes settle over her sister. “You know where everything is?”

 

“Sure do,” Nicole says nodding as she starts up the stairs before she turns to Wynonna with one parting thought. “Hey, it's not just on you either, ok. I should have done more too. We all should have.”

 

“She doesn't deserve any of us,” Wynonna says with a wry smile. “Poor kid. Except maybe you, Miss goody-two shoes. Get her to bed, Haught. We can flog ourselves in the morning with coffee, alright?”

 

“Goodnight Wynonna,” Nicole says before Wynonna turns and Nicole mirrors the action, walking carefully as Waverly breathes steadily in her arms. 

 

Waverly's room is exactly as Nicole had left it the other day, a few other decorations scattered around the room. She walks to the bed, lowering Waverly down gently before flicking the bedside light on, throwing shadows across the dark room. 

 

She settles down next to Waverly, the smaller curving her body unconsciously to make room for Nicole. She's beautiful when she sleeps, Nicole thinks to herself. Calm. Lighter of the weight of other people's problems. 

 

She draws her thumb across Waverly's cheek gently and Waverly stirs beneath her touch. Nicole's about to curse herself when Waverly opens her eyes sleepily and looks up at Nicole with an expression that almost stops her heart. 

 

It's warm and grounding and if Nicole didn't know any better she'd have said it was love. 

 

“Hi,” Waverly says softly, her hand moving to cover Nicole's on her cheek. “You carried me up the stairs.”

 

“I'm not sure how we would have gotten up here otherwise,” Nicole says with a shy smile. “I hope that's ok, I didn't think you might not want to be….”

 

“Might not want to be what?” Waverly asks a little confused, her hand tucking around Nicole's. 

 

“Touched?” Nicole offers softly. “After….”

 

“Oh,” Waverly says as her eyes go a little glassy. “I hadn't thought….”

 

Nicole makes to move her hand away gently, worried she's crossed some invisible line when Waverly's hand tightens around hers. 

 

“No,” Waverly says gently as she moves her head and kisses Nicole's hand. “This is always ok.  _ You're _ always ok.”

 

“You're sure?” Nicole asks, her throat thickening as the guilt starts creeping into the edges of her vision again. “Because I'd understand, Wave. I'm so sorry I didn't do anything sooner. I'm so,  _ so _ sorry.”

 

“Nicole,” Waverly says quietly but with more strength than Nicole would have guessed was left in her body. “Stop, ok? It's not your fault and I definitely don't blame you. I don't blame anyone but that damn worm. You saved me, ok. I should be thanking you.”

 

“You shouldn't be doing anything but sleeping, Wave,” Nicole says gently, the guilt against her chest a little lighter although she can't stop the words that slip out next. “Are you sure you don't hate me?”

 

“I could never hate you,” Waverly says softly, shaking her head. “Never, Nicole.”

 

A huge yawn rattles through Waverly's body then and Nicole smiles as she watches her melt a little further into the bed. 

 

“Bed,” Nicole says a little firmer. 

 

“I'm  _ in _ bed,” Waverly says a little cheekily, sweeping her spare hand around her as if to demonstrate. 

 

“Sleep, then,” Nicole says clarifying, smirking at Waverly's response. 

 

She watches as Waverly looks at her closely before her forehead wrinkles in a frown and she reaches for Nicole's cheek. 

 

“It's not your fault,” Waverly says softly but firmly. “I need you to promise me you'll stop blaming yourself.”

 

“I….” Nicole tries to challenge before Waverly cuts her off with a finger over her lips. 

 

“I know you know me but I know you too, Nicole Haught,” Waverly says quietly. “I can hear you berating yourself from here. It's not your fault and you wouldn't have been able to do anything, ok? That thing was strong. If it thought we were more onto it I think it would have done something much more dangerous in order to keep it's secret a little while longer.”

 

“But….” Nicole says before Waverly stops her again, leaning up on her elbow and pulling Nicole down to her to kiss her soundly. 

 

“You know I'm right,” Waverly breathes softly against her lips, their foreheads touching. “If you'd confronted me about it….I hate to think what it might have done to keep you quiet.”

 

And she's right, Nicole knows that's right at least so she nods, holding Waverly's palm against her cheek. 

 

“I'm so glad you're ok,” Nicole says finally, looking down at Waverly, her bones aching in relief and fatigue. 

 

“You'll stay?” Waverly asks quietly, brushing a strand of Nicole's hair behind her ears. 

 

“If you want me to?” Nicole says, trying not to let the relief show in her voice because she doesn't know what she would have done if Waverly had’ve sent her away, knowing full well she wouldn't sleep unless she knew beyond a doubt Waverly was safe. 

 

“Yes, please,” Waverly says, her voice a little weaker now and Nicole can see the strain of the last few days in her shoulders all of a sudden. 

 

“Of course,” Nicole says before she leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Waverly's lips, smiling when she feels Waverly breathe a deep sigh of relief in response. “Do you want a change of clothes?”

 

“Please,” Waverly says swaying slightly before she shifts up the bed to steady herself against the headboard. 

 

Nicole walks over to the bureau, pulling one of Waverly's night dresses out, the softest one she can find covered in little polka dots before she walks back to the bed. 

 

Waverly's half out of her coat but the fatigue has set into her body heavily now and she looks at Nicole a little helplessly before Nicole smiles and goes to her. She sets the coat on the end of the bed before she helps Waverly out of the rest of her clothes, lifting the last piece over her head leaving her in just her bra and underwear. 

 

“God, you're like a painting Wave,” Nicole says a little distracted as she tries to slow her heart rate, steadily increasing at the sight of so much bare skin, warm beneath her hands.

 

And she knows it's beyond inappropriate because they're both exhausted and Waverly's been through a hell of an ordeal, but Waverly's half-naked and Nicole's only human after all. 

 

“I am not,” Waverly says with a frown. “Champ used to tell me I was Purgatory pretty, not real world pretty. Not like the girls on tv.”

 

“Champ is an asshole,” Nicole says frowning as she runs her palm down Waverly's arm gently. “And you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Period.”

 

“Do you really think so?” Waverly asks with such a bone deep sincerity that Nicole wants to cry. 

 

“Of course I do,” Nicole says smiling softly at Waverly. “Haven't you noticed? I can't take my eyes off you.”

 

“Yeah,” Waverly says with a smile that reaches her eyes, and she blushes before she ducks her head. “I have, actually.” 

 

“And here I was thinking I'd been so damn discreet,” Nicole says with a smirk. “I don't know how half the town gets anything done with you around as a distraction.”

 

“I don't think anyone else notices,” Waverly says with a shrug. “No one but you.”

 

“Their damn loss,” Nicole says fiercely. “And my gain. My  _ huge _ gain.”

 

“Really?” Waverly asks, her voice quiet and Nicole can hear the uncertainty from a lifetime of loneliness and half-neglect behind it. 

 

She leans in, brushing her lips over Waverly's so they  _ just  _ touch. So the electricity sparks bright between them and Waverly smiles finally. 

 

“Really,” Nicole says firmly as she tries to ignore the expanse of warm skin now very,  _ very _ close to her. 

 

Waverly is beautiful, breathtaking, her body fresh out of Nicole's deepest fantasies and being anywhere near her in any state of undress makes Nicole feel like a damn teenage boy. 

 

“If we don't get you into something else I'm going to need to sleep on the couch. I swear I used to have such excellent self-control,” Nicole grouses. 

 

“I like it,” Waverly says smiling a little dangerously as she trails her hand up Nicole's arm. “I like that I do this to you. You're so controlled when you work, so restrained. It's nice to know I have this effect on you.”

 

“Yeah, this and others,” Nicole says wryly under her breath but Waverly catches it. 

 

“Are you sure we have to go to sleep?” Waverly says just as another enormous yawn rolls across her body. 

 

“Yes,” Nicole says frowning around a smile. “I am. It's been a big day, Wave. As much as it kills me to say, there'll be time for that later, ok.”

 

“You're not running away?” Waverly asks with a hesitant frown. “This isn't too much crazy?”

 

“It's  _ plenty _ crazy,” Nicole says with a smile and a Waverly laughs. “But I wouldn't give it up for anything. Not when you're the prize.”

 

Waverly leans up and kisses Nicole soundly, winding her fingers through Nicole's hair before she pulls away with a heavy exhale. 

 

“You're my prize too,” Waverly says as she rests their foreheads together again. “You know that too, right?”

 

Her words settle soft against Nicole's chest and she feels it swell bright in the spaces between her ribs, the light leaking between them. Because she's never been anyone's prize before, not like this. 

 

The words are on the tip of her tongue and she actually has to bite her lip to hold them in, because Waverly's palm is warm on her cheek and she feels  _ ready _ but she doesn't want Waverly to think it's in response to the last few days. She wants it to be special, to have its own meaning.  

 

Waverly pulls away after a moment, her thumbs sweeping over the corners of Nicole's mouth before she wriggles back on the bed lying down flat. She reaches for the buckle of her trousers, popping them open before sliding them down her legs and throwing them over Nicole's shoulder, the redhead struck dumb watching the expanse of skin suddenly bare for her. 

 

“Uh, Wave,” Nicole says, her mouth dry and her palms clammy as she tries not to stare at Waverly's underwear clad body. “What are you doing?”

 

“Getting ready for bed,” Waverly replies with a smile before she sits up closer to Nicole again, her hand moving behind her back. “You didn't say anything about how. Why, is this a problem?” 

 

She clears her throat, trying to stay calm before Waverly's bra goes loose at her arms and Nicole loses the facade all together. 

 

Waverly holds her eye contact as she slides the straps down her arms, dropping her gaze to her now bare chest and Nicole follows her immediately before she realises she's been had. 

 

“You're a damn tease, Waverly Earp,” Nicole says with a growl, handing Waverly her nightgown. 

 

“Is it still teasing when you can have me anytime you want?” Waverly asks, her eyelashes fluttering as she takes the dress from Nicole, holding it in her hands rather than putting it on. 

 

“It is when you're a heartbeat away from falling asleep,” Nicole says with a frown. 

 

Waverly flashes her a brilliant smile before she slides her arms through the top and pulls it over her head as she puts Nicole out of her misery. 

 

“You'll stay here with me, right?” Waverly asks, suddenly sounding nervous given Nicole's current state of not-undress. “You won't really go downstairs, will you.”

 

“Of course I will,” Nicole says, standing so she can start to shrug some of her gear off. She takes her holsters and equipment from round her waist first, dropping them to the floor beside the bed carefully. 

 

She takes a seat on the edge of the mattress so she can unlace her boots, kicking them off before she feels an arm wrap around her waist as Waverly's hands settle on the zip of her top and drag down, her breath warm at Nicole's neck. 

 

“I'm not trying to tease, I promise,” Waverly whispers as her hands move between Nicole's breasts. “I just want to help.”

 

Nicole allows herself to relax into the feeling of Waverly at her back, melting a little at her warmth,  _ aching _ when she realises how much she's missed it, Waverly's softness. 

 

She covers Waverly's hands with her own, keeping them in place as she stands again, her fingers moving to her belt before Waverly's push hers away gently and she moves forward to the edge of the bed on her knees. 

 

It steals her heartbeat, the sight of Waverly in front of her like this, undressing her, and her next exhale is a little unsteady. 

 

“I've always dreamed of this you know,” Nicole says to Waverly as her breath sticks in her lungs and her throat tightens. 

 

“What?” Waverly asks as she looks up to Nicole, her eyes curious as her fingers pause on Nicole's belt. 

 

“Coming home and having someone do this, help me out of my uniform,” Nicole says a little shyly. 

 

“Really?” Waverly says, biting her lip as she pulls Nicole to her again. 

 

“No,” Nicole says shaking her head gently. “Not like that. Well, yeah like that too, but that wasn't what I meant. It's more the idea of having someone to come home  _ to _ . Someone to do this small thing with. I don't know, maybe it's stupid but I've always thought it was kind of romantic? That someone might want to help”

 

“I think that's very sweet,” Waverly says as her body softens, and she glows in response to the small insight into Nicole's head. “How do I stack up to your dream then?”

 

Waverly's hands finish pulling Nicole's belt open and her fingers move beneath the edge of her pants, pulling her shirt loose before they move round to Nicole's lower back, massaging softly against the bare skin as she pulls Nicole closer to her. 

 

“Incomparable,” Nicole says as she bends into Waverly's touch, smooth and soft now, replacing the burning need with a deeper relief. “More than I could have ever hoped for.”

 

“I dreamed of this too you know, but I never thought I'd get it,” Waverly says softly as she pulls Nicole to her gently and Nicole goes willingly and automatically, without hesitation. Sliding against Waverly's body, still half-dressed. “Of a life. Of a partner.”

 

She's malleable beneath Nicole's hands, pliant and gentle like water and Nicole  _ melts,  _ fatigue forgotten. 

 

“Let me show you.”

  
  


-

  
  


“Tell me about your first time.”

 

It's dark now and they're laying in Waverly's room, well in Willa’s but Nicole knows she won't ever return to claim it. The air in the room should be cool because she can see the winter chill on the windows but it's not, it's warm. 

 

It's been a week since the demon left Waverly's body and this is one of the first times they've come together since. 

 

They're both naked, literally but mentally too, Waverly's cheek on Nicole's chest and her legs woven through Nicole's own as they sit half-propped, Nicole's hands threading through Waverly's hair again and again and again. 

 

“My first time?” Waverly asks, lifting her head up to look at Nicole. “Why?”

 

“Please, Wave,” Nicole says gently. “I feel like there’s so much I still don’t know about you that I feel like I should?”

 

And it is a plea because sometimes her brain still seeps poison, tells her that Waverly is happy for now but it won't be enough. Not in the long run. So she needs to know, she needs the old strategy plans of her enemies so she can be better. 

 

So she can be  _ enough _ . 

 

Because now Waverly's seen what Nicole can do, and god she hopes it is. 

 

There's a pause, enough for Nicole to feel their pulses settle and beat in the semi-darkness. 

 

“It hurt,” Waverly says simply as she sets her cheek back to Nicole's breast, her finger drawing love stories on Nicole's bare hip beneath the blanket. 

 

“It hurt and it was in the back of Champ’s truck after a harvest festival. We were both a little drunk and it was over to soon but not soon enough.”

 

“He didn't….” Nicole struggles because she doesn't know how to ask it. 

 

“No, I was….I mean, there was consent I just didn't….”

 

There's another pause and Nicole almost wishes she hadn't asked but another that's almost relieved. Waverly inhales against her and Nicole doesn't say anything yet because she knows Waverly isn't finished. 

 

“I'd waited so long because no one wanted the damaged Earp girl, nobody wanted the only one left but he did. Like he was some kind of king for it? And I didn't really want it but it was just what you did, you know? I didn't think there was another option. That there was  _ this _ . So I went along with it and then it happened and I just wanted to scrub my skin clean off.”

 

“ _ Wave _ ,” Nicole says, gently. Achingly. 

 

“I wish you were my first,” Waverly says without looking up. “I would have waited. I would have waited years for you if I'd known it was a possibility.”

 

“I wish I was too,” Nicole says sadly. 

 

“Will you tell me about yours?” Waverly asks gently. 

 

And she doesn't really want to because it isn't a happy story either but she wants Waverly to know everything, wants to tell Waverly everything she wants to know, so she nods. 

 

“I was seventeen,” Nicole says slowly and if she closes her eyes she can still smell sweet perfume and taste the ice cream from dinner. “I was seventeen and she lived next door. She was one of the popular girls and she was distant at school but she was so different when we were alone.”

 

Nicole breathes again and inhales freshly washed sheets and summer clinging to the tan of their skin, the freckles of her own. 

 

“I was so hopelessly in love, even though I knew she didn't feel the same way. Not entirely. We spent most of the summer together and one night she snuck in after dusk and we lay there for hours, talking under the covers. And then she kissed me.”

 

Nicole can feel the tense line of Waverly's body pulled tight above hers and she wonders, for the first time, whether Waverly is jealous too. 

 

And she wants to stop their story, wants to sweep Waverly into her arms and tell her that no matter how many people came before her (and there haven't been a lot but there have been a few) that they'll never come close to her. 

 

But the darkness tells her  _ no _ . The darkness tells her to wait. The darkness tells her that Waverly needs this as much as she needed the reverse. 

 

“She kissed me and I kissed her back and we kept kissing, and then our clothes were gone and we were touching and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. And then my mother walked in.”

 

“Oh,” Waverly says softly. Like it was the last thing she was expecting which is about right because it was the last thing Nicole had been expecting too. 

 

“My mother lost it, threw her out and didn't speak to me until I left for college.”

 

“And the girl?”

 

“Never spoke to me again either,” Nicole says softly, her ribs pinching because the feeling of loneliness, of hope smashed beyond repair has never really left. 

 

“She ignored me in the halls, ignored my phone calls, the letter I left jammed into her window. Eventually I gave up but I was so, I don't know,  _ broken _ ?”

 

Waverly doesn't say anything but the hand on Nicole's hip tightens and she feels the kiss of Waverly's breath against her skin. 

 

A salve. 

 

“Lonely,” Nicole says as she shivers and it yawns in front of her. “I was lonely.”

 

“That's why you don't talk to your parents?”

 

“It's not that I don't talk to them, it's that they  _ won't _ talk to me,” Nicole says and she tries to keep the bitterness out of her voice but it leaks in. 

 

“I'm sorry, Nicole,” Waverly says and she is, Nicole can feel it in the depth of her voice. 

 

“It was a long time ago,” she says because what else is there to say. 

 

“And there were others?” Waverly asks, her voice hesitant as her fingers spread over her hip and squeeze. A claim. 

 

“A few,” Nicole says honestly, because there have been. Fleeting, once or twice for a few months but nothing permanent. A warmth in a winter bed but nothing more. Nothing that she wanted to give her life for. 

 

“A few,” Nicole says again. “But none like this, Wave. None like you.”

 

“Is it strange that I feel jealous of them?” Waverly asks and Nicole's heart just melts at her honesty. “I've never even met them and I won't but I know that they've touched you and I feel….jealous.”

 

“It's not strange,” Nicole says with a smile. “I don't know how many times I wanted to hit Champ. I  _ hated _ that he touched you, that he got to touch you. Hated it”

 

“You  _ did _ hit him,” Waverly says with a smile and Nicole smiles too. 

 

“And you have no idea how satisfying it was,” Nicole says with a grin. 

 

She almost doesn't ask the question that's burning in her palm because she's almost confident she knows the answer but she needs to be sure. 

 

“Was it just Champ?”

 

“Just Champ,” Waverly says a little sadly, that no one else wanted her enough to try. “Only Champ. And you.”

 

Nicole sighs, the growling beast in her chest sated at least a little at Waverly's confirmation. 

 

Waverly is quiet then, her next thought thick in the air between them like honey as she moves her hand across Nicole's stomach, rippling gooseflesh like a wave in her wake and Nicole bites her lip to stop a moan. 

 

“This isn't normal, is it? What it feels like with us?” Waverly asks and Nicole can hear the electricity that crackles between them in her words. “I mean, I know I don't have much to compare it too but….”

 

“No,” Nicole says easily. “It isn't.”

 

Because it isn't. Nothing about their connection is normal, or ordinary. It's earth-shaking and soul-breaking and it makes Nicole feel like she's touched the vein of time when they kiss and she  _ knows _ Waverly feels it too. 

 

The silence of the room wraps around them like another lover and Nicole pulls Waverly a little closer under its gaze. 

 

“I wish you were my first,” Waverly says again, swimming against the melancholy that Nicole can feel lapping at her heels. 

 

“I can't be your first,” Nicole says looking down at her, collecting Waverly's chin with her forefinger. “But I can be your last?” 

 

“Will you?” Waverly asks, looking at her with a heart that's been broken far too many times for someone so young, a question and a plea. 

 

“I'll be anything you want me to be, Waverly.”

 

The kiss is hard, possessive, not like anything Waverly has ever placed on her lips before but it fits somehow because she understands. 

 

Because loneliness has been a constant companion for Nicole but it has been for Waverly too. 

 

Her body moves before her mind responds, taking Waverly into her mouth and Waverly  _ flexes _ . 

 

She goes smooth like silk beneath Nicole's hands as Nicole rolls her onto her back and draws moan after moan from lungs that quake from the strain, and the ghosts at the foot of their bed fade into dormancy once more.  

  
  


-

  
  


“Will you tell me the things you've done?”

 

“What kind of things?”

 

“You know what kind of things.”   
  


“Oh.  _ Those _ kind of things.”

 

“Yeah. Those kind of things.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“ _ Waverly _ .”

 

“Because I want to know what you like. What else I could do to you that you’d like.”

 

“So then ask me that? Or better yet, let me  _ show _ you.”

  
  


-

  
  


The demon is dead.

 

Banished. 

 

Gone for a week now. 

 

And Nicole can’t sleep.

 

Waverly is in her bed, the moon watching over her as sentry, naked and exhausted and her, only her, and Nicole should be wrapped in her arms but she isn't. 

 

She's awake. 

 

She can't sleep because she feels  _ sick _ . 

 

She'd known. She'd known something was wrong and she'd ignored her gut because Waverly, no,  _ that thing _ , had told her it was fine. 

 

But it wasn't and Waverly and Wynonna had almost lost their lives over it. 

 

Waverly tastes like her again, like freshly picked hay and sunshine and the bite of cold air on a winter’s morning and she says she remembers everything with her but Nicole knows it's not quite true. 

 

The first time they were intimate, she knows that was Waverly,  _ only _ her Waverly, but there are other times where she's not sure even though Waverly said she was in control. 

 

Because the first time they were together she tasted pure, like her Waverly, but there are other times, at the high school and in her kitchen while her hands slid beneath Nicole’s breast over bruised skin where there was a touch of something else on her tongue. 

 

Something  **darker** .

 

Something that wasn't Waverly. 

 

And she knows why Waverly has glossed over it, because the time that mattered, that was her, so what's the point in worrying Nicole about the others. 

 

But she feels sick. 

 

She feels sick because she'd known. Deep down she'd known but she was so happy, so caught with relief at being  _ with _ Waverly, at finally being with her and not having to watch her with someone else that she hadn't wanted to rock the boat and risk losing her if this other Waverly seemed perfectly happy to be with her. 

 

She feels sick because Waverly, that thing wearing Waverly's body had stared at her and lied and Nicole had known but she hadn't said anything. 

 

Nicole knows she was blinded by love and infatuation and loyalty, and she knows she was wrong. Has been wrong about more than one thing now, but her intentions are always genuine.  _ Always _ . 

 

Waverly has told her again and again and again that it's not her fault, that she needs to stop worrying but Nicole can't because she feels so damn guilty. 

 

She hadn't done anything then but she can do something now. 

 

Because Waverly says she's fine but Nicole knows she isn't. Because she's had someone else in her head and in her body, and she knows possession like that leaves a mark on someone's soul. 

 

She knows she can't erase it, can't wipe it from Waverly's memory but she will do  _ anything _ she can to lessen the load. 

 

Because Nicole knows there's a weight on her lungs in the quiet moments of the evening when Waverly stares off into space and Nicole knows her mind is slipping, is fixating on a darkness that taints her dreams and turns her body closer into Nicole's in the middle of the night as she bends away from its blackness and into the light of Nicole's touch. 

 

She can't take the memories away but she can hold the demons back. 

 

She feels sick but she knows that won't help them now so she runs cold water down her neck and over her face until she feels clean again, and pads barefoot back to her bed. 

 

Moonlight falls across her pillows beautifully, spilling into Waverly's hair and across her bare skin turning it silver and she's so beautiful it takes Nicole's breath away. She looks like a deity, a goddess brought to life, Persephone maybe, or Athena. More elemental than human. 

 

Waverly is fast asleep, her breath rising and falling softly and she looks so small but Nicole can see the strength in her too, around the curve of shoulder and line of her jaw. 

 

She turns the covers back gently, careful not to spill too much cool air beneath the blankets and wake Waverly but she stirs anyway and Nicole wonders not for the first time if it's simply her presence that does it, if it's Waverly's heart warming to the proximity of her own. 

 

Because she felt sick before but that quiets the moment she slides in beside Waverly, shuts off entirely the second she curves her warm sleep heavy limbs into the hollow of Nicole's body, entrusting her entirely vulnerable form to Nicole without hesitation. 

 

“Are you ok?” Waverly mumbles when Nicole's arms ghost across her waist, drawing them flush together. “Where'd you go?”

 

“Nightmare,” Nicole says quietly. “Just wanted to get up and splash some water over my face.”

 

“Did it help?”

 

“Not really,” Nicole says honestly as she thinks of the shadows in the bathroom before her mind turns to the quiet she has found in Waverly’s arms. “This does though.”

 

“Good,” Waverly says sleepily as she pulls Nicole’s arm tighter around her and kisses their joint hands. “Next time stay, ok. Wake me. I’ll send the demons away.”

  
  


-

  
  


Waverly's wrists are delicate beneath her grip but her body is strong where she pushes up against Nicole, holding her down against the bed. 

 

She likes this, Nicole has learned. Being held down like this, Nicole's weight over her as she steals a kiss. 

 

Her hips buck and roll when Nicole slides her tongue into Waverly's mouth and she feels a throb in her own core at Waverly's response. 

 

“You're stronger than you look,” Nicole says with a smirk as she looks down to Waverly, her lips heavy with want. 

 

“Not as strong as you,” Waverly says as she tries to centre her strength and push against Nicole but Nicole holds strong. 

 

“Maybe not, but all you'd need to do is distract me for long enough,” Nicole says as she licks a path down Waverly's neck. 

 

“Oh yeah?” Waverly asks with a grin as she writhes a little beneath Nicole. “Like this?”

 

She leans up, taking Nicole's nipple between her teeth, perfectly situated above her head as they are. She's less a shirt and Waverly her skirt and top, and it's better than if they were fully clothed but Nicole suddenly wishes they were bare so Waverly's teeth were around skin and not fabric. 

 

She tries not to bend beneath Waverly but good  _ god _ the girl is good at this, manipulation and appreciation of the female body coming to her as easily as breath and it's not even playing into Waverly's hands when Nicole curves her back. 

 

Waverly might not be as strong but she's faster and the second she feels Nicole weaken she rolls them, coming to rest over Nicole's hips, her hands on Nicole's bare stomach as she looks down and bites her lip. Dawn in human form. 

 

“See?” Nicole says as she moves her hands up and down Waverly's bare thighs. “I told you.”

 

“You let me do that,” Waverly says as her hands track up, up, up, between her breasts. 

 

“I didn't,” Nicole says with a smirk. “Although I won't complain about the new view.”

 

Waverly looks down at her, a little self-satisfied grin on her face as she rolls her hips, balancing herself with a hand on Nicole's stomach and she feels her pulse skip in her wrists because this is what she dreamed about what feels like so long ago. 

 

“I like it up here,” Waverly says as her hand falls to Nicole's breast, palming a little roughly and grinning when Nicole's eyes flutter closed and she bites her own lip. 

 

“I like you up there too,” Nicole admits, her eyes moving over oceans of tanned skin and the heavy curve of breast as lace strains against Waverly's breathing, growing steadily heavier and heavier. 

 

“Not as much as I like you on top though,” Waverly admits, almost a little guiltily, and Nicole watches as a blush spreads across Waverly's chest, lifting the marks Nicole has left up the column of her neck into sharper relief. 

 

“Is that right?” Nicole asks, genuinely interested, her fingertips brushing beneath Waverly's underwear at her sides, smiling when the smaller woman's breath catches. 

 

“Yeah,” Waverly says shyly. “I like it when you're in charge. When you show me how strong you are.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yeah, I do.”

 

“What do you like the most?” 

 

“When you hold me down,” Waverly says as her blush deepens. “When you tell me what to do. I always hated it when Champ was on top but it's different with you. I feel safe. I still feel in charge.”

 

“You're  _ always _ in charge, baby,” Nicole says softly as her fingertips dance over Waverly's skin. 

 

“So when I tell you to pin me down and take me, I'm still in charge?” Waverly asks as she lays low over Nicole. 

 

“ _ Especially _ then,” Nicole says, whisper soft as her lips tease against Waverly's, pulling back when she moves in. 

 

“And if I asked you to push me up against the front door….”

 

“I'd ask you how hard,” Nicole purrs and she can feel the shift in Waverly, can feel her ready to submit. 

 

She drags her nails down Waverly's thighs and watches as the flesh pebbles in her wake, smiling as the curve sets in Waverly's back this time, her eyes fluttering closed. 

 

“And if I asked you to kiss me?” Waverly breathes, her eyes closed shut and Nicole can see  _ eons _ moving beneath them. 

 

She rolls them, slick and smooth as the heat between Waverly's thighs when she moves between them in the next heartbeat, her mouth at Waverly's throat. 

 

“I'd  _ never _ stop.”

  
  


-

  
  


“What kind of things do you dream about?”

 

The night wraps the homestead in stars, the house theirs for the evening, Waverly's voice gentle through the short space between them as she plays with Nicole's hair. 

 

Nicole's thighs pull up to her chest where she sits between Waverly's legs, on the floor in front of the couch while Waverly sits above her and they watch something noiseless in the background. 

 

“What do you mean?” Nicole asks, humming contentedly as Waverly's fingers pull through red curls, scratching at her scalp before they turn, twirling a strand. 

 

“When you're sleeping,” Waverly asks absent-mindedly, her attention focussed on her hands in Nicole's hair. “When you're daydreaming at work, when it's quiet. What do you dream about?”

 

Nicole's quiet for a moment, pretending to be contemplative only because the answer comes so swiftly to her but she doesn't want to admit that too quickly, worried about coming on too strong. 

 

It's silly though because Waverly knows how she feels but still, she holds the thought for the sake of pretence.

 

“I don't know, Wave,” she says weakly but Waverly sees through it in a second, her hands changing tack in Nicole's hair, scratching like she does when she wants Nicole to do something for her. 

 

_ As if she ever needed persuading.  _

 

“Yes you do,” Waverly says and Nicole can hear the smile in her voice. “Tell me. Please?”

 

“You're sure?” Nicole asks, half-spinning in Waverly's hold as she turns to look at her. 

 

“Yes,” Waverly says with an easy smile, as though she already knows exactly what Nicole is going to say. 

 

“You,” Nicole says simply and Waverly's breath catches. And holds.  

 

“What about me?” Waverly asks innocently after a moment, her hands gentle but teasing in Nicole's hair. 

 

“Everything, Wave,” Nicole says with a little laugh because trying to narrow that would be like trying to pick out one specific star in a thousand with her eyes closed. 

 

“No, but like  _ what _ specifically?” Waverly coaxes. “That you dream I'd pick my towels up off the floor in the bathroom? Or that I wouldn't steal fries off your plate when I think you're not looking.”

 

“No,” Nicole says fondly as she pushes back into Waverly's hands. “I love those things. They make you,  _ you _ . They're reminders you're in my life every day. That I'm lucky enough to have you, every day. I mean bigger things, baby.”

 

“Like what?” Waverly asks gently. As though not to spook Nicole out of telling her what she wants to hear and what she thinks Nicole wants to say. 

 

“Promise you won't laugh?” Nicole asks after a moment. 

 

“Never,” Waverly says sincerely as she leans in to press a kiss to Nicole's cheek from behind. 

 

“Fine,” Nicole says dramatically and Waverly's hands start massaging gently to encourage her. “I dream about us.  _ Future _ us.”

 

“Future us?” Waverly asks gently. 

 

Nicole takes a breath, steadying herself because she knows this is mad because they've barely been together a few months but somehow that doesn't matter. Because time is irrelevant and Nicole knows this is forever. 

 

“I dream about marrying you, Wave,” Nicole says quietly, as though she's scared voicing it will somehow take the possibility of it away. “I dream about being your wife.”

 

Waverly takes a breath in then, like she can't quite believe Nicole's words and Nicole freezes beneath her. 

 

“Have I said too much?” Nicole asks, worried. Her blood turning a little cooler in her veins when Waverly doesn't say anything right away. “Is that too fast?”

 

“No,” Waverly says finally and her voice is soft, barely above a whisper but the hope in it makes Nicole's heart swell. “No, baby it's not.”

 

“Are you sure?” Nicole says, still a little hesitant. “Because I know it hasn't been long and we're not even living together or anything but…”

 

Waverly's hands are soft in her hair again, gentle, trying to ease the tension Nicole can feel at the nape of her neck and she bites her lip before she voices the concern she's desperately trying to knock the footholds away from. 

 

“How do you know that's ok?” Nicole asks softly, because Waverly sounds so sure. Like there isn't a shred of doubt in her entire body. And Nicole wants to be sure too because her feelings are absolute, iron strong, but it feels too good to be true, almost? Like there's something she's missing. 

 

Waverly is soft though, just breathes calmly at Nicole's back as she slides her hands down Nicole's arms to lean in and whisper in her ear as she sweeps the hair back from Nicole's neck. 

 

“Because I dream of that too.”

 

“You do?” Nicole asks and she feels her heart trill as the light from the stars shine suddenly brighter in the distance. 

 

“Of course I do,” Waverly says against her pulse, her lips soft against Nicole's skin. “I dream of meeting you at the end of that aisle, of you carrying me home. Of feeling your ring around my finger for the rest of my life. Of calling you my wife.”

 

“You do?” Nicole asks, her breath stuck in her throat, Waverly's words making her whole body feel light. 

 

“Of course I do, Nicole,” Waverly says easily, her fingers sliding in the space between Nicole's own where they sit atop her knees, as though it were the simplest thing in the world. 

 

“How could I not?”

  
  


-

  
  


She doesn't know why she requests the results come to her first, and not Waverly. 

 

Even now. 

 

She thinks it's because she'd wanted to protect Waverly, because the image of Waverly opening that envelope and finding something other than the only possibility alone, without Nicole by her side, damn near broke her heart. 

 

So she'd had it rerouted. To her. So they could open it together and face Waverly's fate with joint hands. 

 

But it'd turned up early and taunted her from the corner of her desk for a full day before she'd finally caved and opened it. So she could be prepared. So she could  _ help _ . 

 

She still can't believe what it says, had spent a full day in denial rationalising how the results might have gotten mixed up even though she knows things like that  _ never _ happen in real life. 

 

And as much as she wants to deny it a larger part of her knows in her bones that it's true. 

 

Results aside though, Nicole had been a damn idiot. She had known with a sick sinking feeling as soon as she'd opened the envelope that she never should have done it without Waverly so had stuffed it in her bag, resolving to tell her as soon as she could, the guilt sitting in her stomach like lead. 

 

But she'd gone to the bar and Waverly had been so happy to see her and they'd played pool and she'd slid her arms around Nicole's waist and Nicole had been  _ weak _ . She'd closed her eyes and given into the pretence that everything was fine for an hour more because she'd known as soon as Waverly found out what that piece of paper said that nothing would ever be the same. 

 

But it doesn't go according to plan. 

 

Waverly reaches into her bag and pulls out the envelope and Nicole's heart drops through the floor. 

 

Waverly's vision narrows and bile rises in Nicole's throat as Waverly's face twists and everything cracks. Waverly asks why around angry tears and Nicole says because  _ I love you _ , because she does, because that's  _ why _ but it doesn't help. 

 

Waverly's gone in a breath of hurt and pain and Nicole's left with streamers and a lungful of regret and the cold reality of best intentions, Waverly's angry footsteps loud in her ears. 

  
  


-

  
  


Fifteen missed calls, twenty-five text messages, four voicemails and half a bottle of whiskey later, Waverly finally replies. 

 

It's snide and snippy and  _ mean  _ and Nicole knows she's hurt but god, it stings. 

 

The tears come unbidden, clouding her vision and wetting the sleeve of her jumper as she wipes at them roughly because Waverly is never mean, not like this. Not to her. 

 

Maybe it's broken then, this thing between them. 

 

Maybe Nicole had gone too far. 

 

She throws her phone down the side of the couch before she picks up the bottle of alcohol, dumping it in the sink before she walks to the bathroom because it isn't helping. It's making it worse. 

 

She gets halfway there before the pain in her chest cripples her and she has to put the wall at her back to stop from falling. Her knees go regardless and Nicole slides like a broken house of cards to the floor, the pain in her half-healed rib aching around her heart. 

 

What they had was special. What they had should have lasted a lifetime but Nicole and her best-fucking-intentions had split it clean down the middle and she's not sure if she can stop the bleeding. 

 

The blood is over her hands and across her heart and at their feet and the red makes her breath stop because it's  _ too deep _ . 

 

Nicole doesn't try to get up again, she just sits and cries and cries and  _ cries _ . 

  
  


-

  
  


There’s a knock at the door the next morning and her heart leaps because it must be Waverly, who else would come to call. 

 

But it’s not. 

  
  


-

  
  


The agony is blinding. Burning and all-consuming and it chokes her but somewhere amongst the smoke and flame is Waverly. 

 

Nicole's in and out on the way to the hospital, her vision clearing for a second, but by the time the smell of bleach hits her tongue everything is a blur of pain and heat. 

 

Waverly cuts through it though, her touch like the cool kiss of ice water at her wrist. 

 

Her pleas are like sonnets,  _ don't die baby, please don't die  _ and  _ stay with me _ and Nicole wants to but she feels weak now and Waverly is the only thing she will hold on for but she doesn't know how long her grip will last. 

 

Wynonna comes to see her and Nicole can't stop writhing against the bed because the pain makes her want to climb the damn walls and tear her nails down whatever malleable surface she can get them in first. She asks Wynonna to do the worst because only she can and she agrees, snapping for more pain meds when the doctor comes to check on Nicole. 

 

They won't help though. They dissolve in her bloodstream the minute they hit it, the poison eating through it in a second but she won't tell them that, because this is bad enough as it is. 

 

She sends for Waverly because they want to put her under but she won't go. Not until she's said goodbye. Not until she's told Waverly how much she loves her. 

 

Because she knows there's no way she's coming out of this now, the fire's too hot in her skin and it sears through her veins and it's just too much for her soft human body to take. 

 

She steels herself when she feels Waverly walk in though, even though the pain is enough that she should be screaming, because Waverly doesn't need to know how bad it burns and Nicole will be damned if she won't protect Waverly until the last breath leaves her body. 

 

She grits her teeth and tries not to wince and it's so hard because the pain is nauseating but Waverly looks terrified so Nicole focuses on that, on the curve or her jaw, on what her heartbeat feels like through her fingertips. 

 

Waverly shakes her head when Nicole tries to say what she needs to say and she doesn't think she'll get to the end without breaking under the weight of the agony but she does,  _ just _ . 

 

She tells Waverly the only thing that matters, that she's the love of her life, of all her lives, and she watches as Waverly's body bows beneath the tragedy of it all and then everything goes mercifully, suddenly,  **b l a c k** . 

  
  


-

  
  


When Nicole wakes her ears are ringing and there's a tingling beneath her skin but the pain is gone. 

 

She feels numb for the lack of it, her body exhausted, and she feels like she's floating tethered to the earth by a hand woven perfectly between her own. 

 

Waverly. 

 

Bent over the side of her bed as though in prayer, her hair down around her shoulders and Nicole's bedside like a halo. 

 

She can feel her mind pouring back into her body now, can feel her soul fill her fingertips and as soon as sensation comes back to them she squeezes gently and Waverly's head jumps up. 

 

“Hi, baby,” Nicole says a little weakly, her voice tired and Waverly smiles once before she dissolves into tears. 

 

Great sobbing waves shake her tiny body and Nicole scrambles as much as she can to pull Waverly to her, onto the bed beside her, tucking Waverly into her side. 

 

“I'm ok, baby,” she says into Waverly's hair as she holds her tight around her shoulders. “Wave, I'm ok. It's ok.”

 

Nothing seems to help though, she's properly inconsolable and it makes Nicole's heart burn as bad as the poison but there's nothing else she can offer beyond her touch so Nicole just holds tight and smoothes lines over Waverly's back, whispering gentle lullabies in her hair. 

 

Waverly's hand scrunches tight in the front of her gown and her tears run down Nicole's chest between the hollow of her breasts but she doesn't care because Waverly is here, not on the end of her phone ignoring her desperate calls or pale at her deathbed. 

 

She's  _ here  _ and they're both alive. 

 

She calms eventually, the sobs shaking her body less and less until she quiets, drawing in a great wet breath against Nicole's heart. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Waverly hiccups after a while, her voice tired and hoarse from crying. “I'm sorry the last thing I said to you was that horrible message. I didn't mean it Nicole, not one bit. I'm so sorry for that and for….”

 

“For what, baby?” Nicole asks, pulling Waverly's hair away from her eyes softly, her thumb gentle at Waverly's cheek. “You're sorry for what?”

 

They don't get a chance though because the next second the doctor walks in looking utterly bewildered as he holds Nicole's chart. 

 

“I don't know how, but you're ok,” he says with a frown. “How do you feel?”

 

“Alright,” Nicole says honestly as Waverly rearranges herself at Nicole's side, backing off slightly when the doctor moves forward to take her vitals. “Tired but alive.”

 

“You're a miracle, Officer Haught,” he says as he shakes his head before he looks to Waverly with a smile. “You didn't manage to find a magic cure while I was out, did you?” 

 

Waverly blanches at that and Nicole frowns because that doesn't make any sense, because  _ that's _ not possible. 

 

Maybe she's just tired Nicole rationalises as the doctor tells her he wants to run a few more tests but she should be clear to go home soon. Maybe Waverly's just exhausted. 

 

He leaves and they move to sit on the edge of the bed, and Nicole's about to ask her if everything's ok because she's gone oddly quiet since the doctor's comment but then Wynonna walks in with a smile and a look that's as proud as punch but her face wrinkles when she sees Nicole up and ok. 

 

She's ecstatic though, even goes so far as hugging Nicole tightly before she draws back with a deep frown that chills Nicole's blood. 

 

“Wait, I don’t understand though. This was the only way we could….what did you  _ do _ , Waverly?” Wynonna asks and her voice is cold. 

 

Hard. 

 

Scared. 

 

She looks to Waverly, read to move to her defence but Waverly doesn't look puzzled at Wynonna's reaction like Nicole is. 

 

She looks guilty. 

 

“Wave?” Nicole asks gently as her hand moves to Waverly's leg but she's up off the edge of the bed before Nicole can do anything. 

 

Nicole wants to run after her but her IV line pulls and her knees go out from under her as soon as she stands and Wynonna rushes forward to catch her, her hands strong around Nicole's weakened body as she calls after Waverly with an echo that chills Nicole's bones. 

 

“Waverly, what did you  _ do _ .”

  
  


-

  
  


Wynonna goes after her, leaves Nicole with a head full of questions and a heart full of pain, because Waverly  _ left _ . She left. And she'd never leave Nicole after something like this. Not unless she'd done something very,  _ very _ bad. 

 

Nicole is lying in the bed, picking at the tape around her drip waiting for the doctor to come back when a strange buzzing fills the air and everything  _ shifts _ . 

  
  


-

  
  


She remembers flashes, after. Not the whole thing. Most of the memories hang just out of reach, but some linger. 

 

They're them but they're not, Wynonna's absence leaving a strikingly large hole in their lives in a way that surprises Nicole later when she does remember fragments. 

 

In this world made of lens flares and flower crowns Waverly brings her lunch every day and she watches Nicole with a curiosity a straight, engaged young woman shouldn't. But she does. 

 

And of course Nicole notices because she watches Waverly just as keenly, because it doesn't matter what reality they exist within or around, she  _ always _ will. 

 

Her perfume here is vanilla and Waverly tells her with a teary beautiful smile that this is her favourite and Nicole's heart swells about ten sizes because she didn't know that, and the thought settles later, once they are home, that maybe every version of Waverly will love her as keenly too. 

  
  


-

  
  


One night Nicole dreams of a barn. 

 

She dreams of a barn and a strange light that fills the air like a spell and a man in a fur coat and Waverly. Always of Waverly. 

 

She's beautiful and breathtaking in the low glow but she's sad, more than that she looks heartbroken and Nicole wants to go to her immediately but she can't seem to move. 

 

Her eyes are unfocused and Nicole's are too, except when she looks to Waverly and they shift crystal clear and she doesn't understand,  _ at all, _ but she knows something is wrong. 

 

Her eyes are set to Waverly's but Waverly's own don't seem to settle and she sounds like she's on another plane, looks like she's seeing something else, some other time or place and Nicole can only clench her fists and watch. 

 

Waverly's body is still but her eyes  _ see _ before they wrinkle in what looks like pain, and she whispers words that will haunt Nicole's thoughts for days to follow. 

 

_ “I betrayed her _ ,” Waverly says and it sounds like the most agonising admission she's ever had to make, but it's not that which sets its teeth in Nicole's throat and stays. It's the words that follow. 

 

_ “I betrayed her because I love you.” _

  
  


-

  
  


Nicole makes a promise and she keeps it. 

 

Wynonna gives birth in a bar which is actually ironically perfect, and they all have to say goodbye before they've barely said hello. 

 

Alice Michelle, Waverly tells her later between sobs as the thrum of the chopper blades thumps between them, and again wrapped firmly in Nicole's arms on the couch after they save the world. Again. 

 

Alice Michelle, with Wynonna and Docs’s blood in her veins. 

 

But not Waverly's. 

 

They don't know  _ what _ she is, not yet, only that she's not revenant because she can leave the triangle as easily as Nicole can. 

 

She knows it's a small win but in a day of sorrow it's a light. 

 

That one day, Nicole can take her to the sea. 

  
  


-

  
  


“What did you think of me when we first met?”

 

Nicole's voice is quiet, nervous even and it's a question she's wanted to ask Waverly for months now, only finding courage in the dawn. 

 

The light is falling softly into Waverly's bedroom, the sheet draped softly over Waverly's lower back as she lays on her stomach next to Nicole on her back. 

 

Waverly's smile is soft as her fingertips tease up and down Nicole's arm, her eyes alight as she thinks slowly because there is no haste to anything today. 

 

It's been a week since Alice left them. They have nowhere to be, no fires to put out, no demons to banish, no agenda besides the soft exploration of each other's bodies and it makes Nicole's soul easy. Because these last few weeks have been hard and both she and Waverly have almost been stretched to breaking. 

 

They haven't made love this morning, not yet, although Nicole's thighs still tingle where Waverly's fingers had danced to wake her up, soft over the skin as they'd teased and Waverly's voice had whispered  _ Nicole  _ in her ear. 

 

It's still the most beautiful thing she's ever heard, her name on Waverly's lips. 

 

“What did I think of you?” Waverly asks softly, her eyes bright as she leans down to pepper kisses on the pale skin of Nicole's bicep, down to the scar that still burns to touch even though the wound has almost fully healed. 

 

“Yeah,” Nicole asks, smiling against Waverly's caress on her skin. “I've always wondered….”

 

“Honestly?” Waverly asks, ducking her head to press her cheek against Nicole's forearm. 

 

“Of course,” Nicole says, a little prickle of worry settling at the back of her neck. 

 

“I thought you were intimidating,” Waverly says, blushing as she looks up to Nicole. 

 

“Intimidating?” Nicole asks, trying to think back to what part of their encounter Waverly could have been intimidated by. “God, Wave I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be….”

 

“No, listen,” Waverly says gently, smiling still. “You walked in, this picture of a Norse goddess from the fairytales, all tall with flaming red hair and you  _ flirted _ with me. I've never had a woman flirt with me in my entire life before you remember, and it took my breath away. You flirted like it was the easiest thing in the world and you left your card like it was nothing, and I felt like this bumbling idiot who couldn't even work out why they were nervous. You were beautiful and bold and confusing, and I think I stood there with my mouth open for about an hour after you left until someone else came in and distracted me.”

 

“Oh,” Nicole says softly as Waverly's words sink in. “Good intimidating then?”

 

“ _ Very _ good,” Waverly says with a slightly mischievous smile as she nips at Nicole's shoulder with soft teeth. “I couldn't stop thinking about you and I didn't know why. Was it because you were new or a cop or because you were nice to me? I couldn't work it out but I couldn't  _ stop thinking _ either.”

 

“Really?” Nicole asks, a little taken aback at Waverly's admission, her eyes softening when she nods again. 

 

“I thought about you all day and all night and I just couldn't work it out because you were a girl and I liked boys, or at least I thought I did. But then I thought about it and I couldn't ever remember thinking about Champ like that, constantly. Or any boy.”

 

“You'd never….?” Nicole asks, trailing off. 

 

“Been attracted to women before?” Waverly asks a little shyly. “Not really. I mean if I think hard about it I don't think I was ever  _ actually _ interested in boys, and I probably paid more attention to some of the women on tv than I should have but I didn't think anything of it, you know? It just wasn't an option?”

 

Nicole smiles because they haven't really talked about this, Waverly's sexuality, beyond the fact that she was very clearly a Nicole-sexual. It's a little warmth in her chest, to think that she was Waverly's first real crush. 

 

“But then you came,” Waverly says, smiling to herself. “You came and….”

 

“Corrupted you?” Nicole says with a little laugh.

 

“ _ Enlightened _ me,” Waverly says gently, her eyes softening at Nicole. They're gentle but there's a fire now that's brighter than what was there a moment ago. 

 

“There was a night, you know, before Champ and I broke up after Shorty died. He was here and he was kissing me and all I could think about was you and what  _ your _ kisses would feel like. What your hands would feel like against my stomach.”

 

Nicole tries not to frown at the mention of  _ him  _ but she can't help but be a little self-satisfied that she was there in Waverly's head when Waverly should have been thinking about him instead. 

 

“I wondered if you'd be an attentive lover, because I was almost certain you would be,” Waverly says as she smiles to herself, pulling herself up on an elbow and moving closer so she can press a kiss to Nicole's neck. “I wondered what it would feel like with you. I wondered if you'd be able to make me come.”

 

“You’d never….” Nicole asks a little shyly, a blush colouring her own cheeks. “With him, I mean?”

 

“What do you think?” Waverly asks with a little laugh and a smirk as she pulls away from Nicole. “I couldn't do it after that, stay with him. Not once I had this dream of you in my head.”

 

Waverly leans in again and draws the pulse in Nicole's neck between her teeth and Nicole growls low as she moves, finally. She slides between Waverly's thighs and flips them seamlessly, smiling at the way Waverly's breath catches when they settle together. 

 

She writhes a little beneath Nicole, testing Nicole's hold before she moves her hands up by her head, offering herself to Nicole with a roll of her hips and Nicole's smile deepens when she  _ understands _ . 

 

“I was terrified, you know,” Nicole says as she slides her hands up Waverly's arms, pushing and holding them gently up above their bodies. “The first time I came to see you.”

 

“Terrified?” Waverly asks, a little disbelieving. “Why?”

 

“Because I’d seen you, earlier in the day, actually all through the week before and you took my breath away. I wanted to introduce myself then but I chickened out,” Nicole says as she tries to hold back her blush. “I might not be new to the whole lesbian thing but a pretty girl is still a pretty girl, no matter how many you talk to. And you were the  _ prettiest _ , Waverly Earp. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life.”

 

“How many have you  _ talked _ to,” Waverly asks with hooded eyes, darkening a little in possessiveness and Nicole feels a throb between her thighs because that Waverly is delicious, the one who slides her arm around Nicole's waist and pulls her close for the sake of it. Reminding anyone watching who Nicole belongs to. 

 

“Enough to know that this isn't normal,” Nicole says as she leans down and kisses Waverly hard, and they both break away shaking. “That this is something very special, baby. That I'm the luckiest person in the world.”

 

Waverly is smiling now, her body silken beneath Nicole's as she elongates it, tempting Nicole in further. It's intoxicating and Nicole can't help pushing her weight through her thigh, glowing at the warmth she can feel even through Waverly's underwear against her leg.

 

“I love it when you get jealous,” Nicole says as she takes Waverly's earlobe between her teeth. “But you know there's nothing to worry about, right? I'm all yours. Only yours.” 

 

“You love it?” Waverly asks, a little confused. 

 

“It means you want me,” Nicole says with a smirk but there's a trickle of insecurity beneath her words, because she still can't believe that Waverly Earp chose  _ her _ . 

 

Nicole still can't believe she gets to do this, to wake up with Waverly, to slide between her thighs and draw moans from her like her life depends on it. 

 

“Of course I want you,” Waverly says as she rolls her hips harder against Nicole's leg, as if to prove a point. “I never want anything else.”

 

Nicole drops her forehead to Waverly's chest because Waverly  _ slides _ , slick and wet even against cotton and Nicole can feel how heavily that want breathes between them. 

 

“I thought you were sexy as hell too,” Waverly says when Nicole starts moving, releasing her wrists so she can move down Waverly's body.

 

She moves like a whisper, hands and mouth light over Waverly so she jumps up into Nicole's hands. Over her breasts and down her stomach, pushing Waverly's loose tee up so she can marry lips to bare skin. 

 

“In your uniform,” Waverly gasps as she tries to continue, distracted by Nicole's touch. “With your hat and those pants. My palms were warm and my chest was flushed and I thought it was just from that damn tap breaking but now I know it wasn't. It was  _ want _ .”

 

Waverly's stomach is warm, her breasts proud and nipples hard even before Nicole closes her mouth around them. Her prize is lower but she wants to take her time. She wants Waverly to beg for it before she gives in. 

 

“I don't know how many times I thought of you,” Nicole says to the skin at the curve of Waverly's hip. “At night. When I was laying in bed all alone.”

 

“ _ Nicole _ ,” Waverly moans and it's a symphony, visual too when she arches into Nicole's hands. “More. Tell me more.”

 

“Sometimes I'd see you during the day in that Shorty's crop and I couldn't think of anything else until I got home and gave in,” Nicole purrs as her fingers slide beneath the edge of Waverly's underwear and drag down. 

 

“Sometimes I used to wear things for you, you know,” Waverly says as she bends beneath Nicole. “Things I knew you liked, things you couldn't  _ not _ stare at.”

 

She nips at the skin for that, teeth closing and lips smiling when Waverly gives up a little laugh in response because she knows her staring wasn't exactly subtle, but the idea that Waverly knew and played on it makes her glow. 

 

“I never thought I'd get to touch you though, never thought I'd get to do this,” Nicole says as she moves between Waverly's thighs properly and Waverly opens for her. She drags her tongue down in one bold stripe, no warning or preamble and Waverly shudders beneath her. “Never in a million years thought you would ever touch me.”

 

She teases the inside of Waverly's thighs with kisses and gentle bites and Waverly's breath comes shorter and sharper, her hands pulling at Nicole's nightshirt to expose her bare to the room too. 

 

“But you do,” Nicole purrs. “And baby, it's  _ amazing _ .”

 

Because it is, because her thighs tremble for hours after Waverly's hands leave them. 

 

She had wanted to go slow, to draw this out, but Waverly's coming apart so beautifully, so easily, she can't help but give in. 

 

Nicole knows what Waverly needs, can tell by the degree her back arches and the pitch her moans meet so she swirls her tongue for a moment before she replaces lips with fingers and moves back up Waverly's body. 

 

Because Waverly loves Nicole's mouth but she likes the weight of Nicole draped over her body and pushing between her thighs better. 

 

She moves high enough for Waverly to crash their lips together, bruisingly tight as Nicole's fingers line up and drive home, two deep to the knuckle, slick and frictionless. 

 

“Oh,  _ Nicole _ ,” Waverly moans as her back bends sharply and Nicole falls further. 

 

She's tight and wet, God  _ so _ wet and she pulls around Nicole's fingers so heavily Nicole almost comes herself on the spot. She drives hard and fast because that's what Waverly begs for when she's like this, mad with lust, not slow and gentle. 

 

She wants Nicole to push and stretch her until she's straddling that line of  _ too much _ . She wants to draw the animal inside both of them to the surface because she trusts Nicole to keep them safe, even when they're taking one another apart. 

 

She hadn't expected this from Waverly, this heat, this level of wildness. Nicole had expected her to be quiet and soft, which she can be too although this is the side that comes to play more often than not. 

 

She'd seen glimpses of it before they'd taken each other to bed for the first time, the way Waverly had half-crawled up her body when she'd kissed Nicole for the first time, the way her body had met the enthusiasm in Nicole's when she'd pushed Waverly back into the couch, the way she'd draw Nicole against her body the second they were alone somewhere. 

 

She can recall their first conversation about it perfectly, even now as Waverly tightens around her fingers, maybe easier because of it, when Waverly had shown this version of herself for the first time. 

 

It was after Mictian, after black kisses and sharp words. Nicole had come home from a double shift and the second she'd walked through the front door Waverly was on her, her hands at Nicole's belt as she'd started walking them towards the stairs. 

 

“I missed you,” Waverly had growled between kisses. “You've been gone for far too long.”

 

And Nicole had been exhausted but she'd spent the better part of the last hour thinking about doing exactly this as soon as she could kick her boots off, so her body had reacted like a struck match, picking Waverly up and taking her upstairs as quick as she could, stopping at the top of the landing to press Waverly against a wall to steal a kiss because god, that bed felt too far away. 

 

Waverly's hands had tightened in Nicole's hair, her tongue hot and quick against Nicole's, her heartbeat a million degrees as Nicole had moaned hard and kept moving, desperate to get at bare skin. 

 

She'd pressed Waverly down into the bed, hands at Waverly's waist as she'd popped the button of her pants off while Waverly pulled at her own shirt, spilling the last two buttons in her haste across the floor. 

 

Nicole had clenched tight for the first time then, the depth of Waverly's want for her drawing an ache from her belly, but that had only been the beginning. 

 

Her hands had gone to Nicole's waist, pulling roughly at her belt before stripping the uniform off her as quickly as she could and pulling Nicole bodily on top of her, wrapping her thighs around Nicole's waist. 

 

Her kisses and hands had been desperate, wanting, and Nicole had pulled away to catch her breath when it was clear Waverly wasn't going to stop. 

 

“Easy, baby,” Nicole had purred, her hands sliding around to unhook Waverly's bra. “Remember to breathe.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Waverly said panting against Nicole's forehead. “I don't know what's gotten into me. I've never been like this before but I just can't get enough of you. It feels like there's a fire under my skin and I just want to touch you everywhere.”

 

“Really?” Nicole had asked, her lust deepening. “This is just for me?”

 

“ _ Only _ for you,” Waverly had whispered against her lips. “It's never been like this before. Ever. I know I should be softer and I like that too, I like it all but it's like you've uncaged something in me that's been waiting my whole life to come out and sometimes I just want you to  _ fuck _ me, Nicole. I want you to eat me alive.”

 

“Oh,  _ Wave _ ,” Nicole had moaned as she'd pressed her core heavily against Waverly's and the gasp had echoed through them both before she'd started moving down Waverly's skin. “All you had to do is ask.”

 

It drove Nicole wild, the idea that this, Waverly's hunger, was all for her. The idea that no one else had ever seen it made her pulse  _ pound  _ and she'd not wasted a drop since. 

 

There's a softness to Waverly even now though, even strung out like this, the blush of her chest a gentle dusk. Sometimes she'll be as hot as an ember but her movements will slow like she's moving through water, and it's exquisite to watch. 

 

“I love you,” Nicole murmurs to Waverly's lips as her fingers curve and then retract, only to push straight back in again and again and  _ again _ . 

 

Waverly feels like velvet around Nicole's fingers, warm and firm and delicious and she wants to add a third because she knows Waverly can take it but she doesn't think she needs to. 

 

Her lips drop to Waverly's breast, drawing skin between her teeth hard but slow and Waverly snaps up to meet her, her nails dancing a waltz across the muscles of Nicole's shoulders. 

 

She lengthens her strokes, brings the pace to an almost crawl but it's heavy and it makes Waverly writhe for a moment before she groans when Nicole brushes something deep inside. 

 

“I love you too,” Waverly gasps as she comes slowly, the first wave cresting like a lazy ocean. She clenches around Nicole's fingers and Nicole moans too because this is the thing that stays with her for days after, feeling Waverly come around her. Against her.  _ For _ her. 

 

“That's it, baby,” Nicole drawls as her fingers draw the pleasure from Waverly's bones and Waverly's whole body lifts off the bed in a silent gasp. “Let it go, I've got you.”

 

And Waverly does. 

 

She moans at the sound of Nicole's voice, she slackens and she gives herself completely to Nicole, opens herself and spills out, flooding Nicole's palm and breathing life into Nicole's lungs when she brings their lips together. 

 

The waves recede but Nicole holds, waiting until Waverly's soul comes back into her eyes before she takes her fingers away. She kisses her like their lives depend on it then, shivering when Waverly's hands skirt across her skin and the connection between them yawns in response, settling itself and marking its presence. 

 

It's not going to be easy, whatever their futures decide to orchestrate for them, but Nicole knows this is a constant, this bond between them. There are questions and answers and different lives to divulge but the connection that binds her to Waverly will  _ hold.  _

 

It runs alongside her heart, the beat of Waverly's own, and she surrenders to it. 

 

She drops to her knees and offers herself mind and body and soul to Waverly and Waverly smiles offering her own before she slides her hand down Nicole's stomach and they  _ begin _ ,  **again** . 

  
  


-

  
  


end. 

**part two.**

  
  


-

**Author's Note:**

> Phew. All done!
> 
> I didn't mean for this little two-piece to be so long but I think it does justice to their story better to be a bit longer.
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com) or at tiger-lo@outlook.com and I'd love it if you want to come and chat about wayhaught (or anything come to that) or send me any questions or if there's anything you want to know about my own headcanons for these two send them through.
> 
> I've got so much wayhaught stuff to share with you all over the next few weeks lovely humans, I'm so excited they've inspired the hell out of me. I've just finished part-two to waverly's birthday fic, a suuuuper angsty post 2x12 oneshot that deals with grief and sadness (that might be one of my favourite things I've ever written) and I kind of got a bit inspired following how many incredible comments there were on the first piece so I've turned this other thing I've just started into the makings of a waverly-pov version of this fic. 
> 
> So stay tuned? And don't forget to come and say hi if you want or to throw some headcanons at me!
> 
> xx


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